Elephant Trek

Treking through the jungle on the back of an elephant was not exactly something I’d expected to be doing in this lifetime. But because life is full of many wonderful surprises, this was exactly where I found myself two days ago.

When I originally signed up for the trip I had visions of the “elephant trek” consisting of a long wait in line, then getting on top of the elephant and being lead around in a circle, a picture or two taken, and that would be it. Thankfully, my ideas were very wrong. When we arrived at the elephant treking place I could see elephants freely roaming about the field in the distance. The only other thing in sight was a small thatched roof hut, not exactly touristy or commercial. In order to get to the elephants we had to cross a river on a very high strung bamboo suspention bridge that swung unstabily back and forth with each step. In addition, we had to go one at a time. I did not ask why, but i’m guessing we would have seen that bridge drowning to its watery death in the river had there ever been more than 300lbs on it at any one time.

Once “safely” on the other side, I found myself surrounded by elephants. My jaw dropped and the camera came out. You’d think I’d never seen an elephant before. Then again I really haven’t, only from far away at the zoo maybe ten years ago. There were about five small but very tough looking Thai guys playing around with the elephants. These guys I would soon learn, were our guides; five foot tall, hash smoking, machete carying elephant guides.

“Holy shit” I said to the two other American grils as we stood on the porch of the thatched hut ready to mount our elephants, “this would never go down in the US.” They nodded, a look of fear in their eyes.

Our group consisted of nine people, I being the ninth. Everyone else was magically in pairs, so that meant I would be riding my elephant solo. I was informed of this as I was climbing onto my elephant,  which was more of a jump than a climb from the platform to the “saddle.”

“Sweet saddle,” I mumbled to myself nervous and sarcastically as I gave the thing a once over. The best way to describe it is a metal piece of crap attached to the elephant by what looked like twine. “I am totally going to die in the jungle from falling off an elephant!” I thought to myself, “who would’ve thought?!” Everyone else had their compantion to cling to and discuss just how sketchy the situation seemed, but not me. I was left with no one to talk to but my elephant so I thought, “well, might as well make friends with the beast!”

From then on I spoke to the elephant as if it was my six year old daughter, playing her fisrst soccer match. “Common girl, you can do it! Oh yeah! Just a little to the right, perfect! Noo no no no not over there! Stay focused, stay focused!” The intensity of our relationship grew with each step deeper into the jungle.

The “path” we were on might have deserved to be called a path had it not been raining for the past 5 days and still doing so. Since we were in the middle of a down pour, the trail had been transformed into a mini Amazon, becoming quite the challenge for the elephants to find secure footing. The guides seemed unphased by their struggle, then again they seemed unphased by just about anything that occured, including one of the elephants simply wondering off in to the jungle. The guides would sit on the elephant’s head, feet dangling off, huge joint in one hand, huge machete thing in the other. Minus the cameras and the North Face backpacks, we looked like a native tribe going on a tiger hunt.

After about 15 minutes on the elephant I decided that I might as well get over the fear and get into the whole situation. So, I got out of my saddle and got down on to the elephant’s back, squeezing with my legs to stay on. If I were going togo down, I was gonna do it bareback damnit! No sissy saddle for me (this manuver was suggested by the guide who seemed to think that the saddle wasn’t going to stay on once we started going down hill). Oddly enough, it was much more comfortable just riding on the back. Besides, now I felt like a real tiger hunter!

We had one final descent before we returned back to camp, and the rain was really coming down now. The trail was what I would call “skiably steep”. I would have second guessed going down it on a mountain bike, let alone an elephant. But what was I going to do, jump off the freaking elephant? So I leaned back and put my dormant skiing leg muscles to work, inner thies and quads burning. At one point, the elephant in front of mine was slidding down the mud trail, all of its four legs together like a tall skinny bar stool. Not the greatest for stability I would imagine. I started speaking to my elephant again, “common baby, you got it! Eye on the trail, stay strong!” Thank god I couldn’t see its legs as we slid down or I just might have jumped off.

Once back at camp, fully soaked to the bone, I figured all of the excitement was over. I should have known better. To get off the elephant the guides would kick the beast’s back legs causing it to lower to the ground. Then the passenger has about a 5 foot jump off. No so bad, except my elephant refused to lower to the ground. “Jump off the head” the guide yelled to me. “What?” I said, having heard exactly what he just said. “Off the head!” he yelled back. “Alrighty then,” I said scouting my landing and laughing at the rediculousness of the situation. I was about to slide/jump off the head of an elephant into a sea of about six other elephants. I considered busting out a spread eagle as I launched off the head, but the take off was sketchy, so I thought it best to stick to a simple clean air. I landed splat in the mud, looking up at my elephant who I swear was laughing at me. “Thanks buddy,” I said picking myself up off the ground, pretty happy to still be alive.

All in all it was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done, and I wouldn’t have wanted to do it any other way. It may seem like a long shot as you sit reading this from your computer screen, but you too just might find yourself treking through the jungle on the back of an elephant. You never know what lies just around the corner, and that is the best part!